Shoestring Theory

Currently documenting the house that is eating our lives, we will return to regularly scheduled programming in a couple of more months

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How would you respond?

October 14, 2010 at 2:51 pm by thetheorist

Below you will find a series of messages that I received this morning from one of our customers. This customer purchased a hard drive last week, which apparently is not working for him. We had received no communication from this customer prior to this series of messages, and honestly I haven’t replied to him yet. I’m not even sure what to say. I’ll be happy to provide a replacement or a refund, but first I have to figure out where to begin. I’m sharing it here for your pleasure, and to see if anyone has any thoughts on how to reply.

This message is presented exactly as I received it, not a single character has been changed. The line breaks are present because 5 separate messages were sent over the course of 10 minutes. Each line break is the separation between messages.

Message from customer:

stupid ckc computers sent me a hard drive in which you cannot install windows xp on it because after 70% of installing windows xp it starts skipping files , i tried to install on 3 laptops, ebay , will you be kind enough to tell this worthless genetic-deformed , money hungry seller that i just bought about 11 hard drives on ebay, all of them installed with time being consumed except this one, tell this seller who has manure for brains and lives in a farmland to send me a hard drive that works or refund my money, tell this yoo yoo that some people in america went to college and learned from college professors about certain genetic-deformed, money hungry people and studyed engineering, and have almost 40 laptops to play with and fix==================this worthless genetic-deformed money hungry manure brained person wasted over 3 hours of my time with this stupid hard drive in which he knew was defective in the first place, he must be one of those people who live in that country where nothing is made over 62 years or one of those people who likes to start all kinds of wars, those worthless genetic-deformed money hungry people who college professors stated in college, or maybe this is a narrow-minded person of another type of people who a greek supreme court judge called the person a narrow-minded son of a gun in a case

wasted over 3 hours on this stupid hard drive, on 3 laptops trying in install windows xp, never seen nothing like it, do not have money to waste because i have not worked for almost 30 years, thank god, i am glad i did not have to pay taxes to support this worthless genetic-deformed, money hungry people due to a bad injury

either send a hard drive that is good or refund my money, you are the first person after buying 12 hard drives and installing them with time consumed that does not work===========another stupid ebayer sent me one which is corrupt and refunded my money, then there was this oriental seller from california who sent me 2 new ones about 6 months ago that still do not work, i do not know what is going on with ebay but nonsense better stop immediately or get some of these sellers off ebay================or tell them to finish grade school and try not to be a genetic-deformed , money hungry worthless american, because it is not funny any more

refund money or send a good one because i have other laptops to test and need more hard drives that work=============buying about 11 that 9 of them work is not that bad on ebay, i can switch hard drives to other laptops because if it is the same type hard drive connector, they will run on laptops take the same type hard drive connector

probably cannot deal with this manure brained farm hand company who think they know everything and other people are stupid

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8 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Kate Oct 14, 2010 at 3:35 pm

    How could he tell you’re genetically deformed? Most people need to at least meet you.

    That is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week. I read it twice. And I giggled.

    My only advice is to be incredibly professional and say “Had we known you were having problems, we’d have gladly refunded/replaced. We ask our customers to inform us if there are any issues as soon as possible so we may remedy the situation as quickly as possible. We are sorry you are offended by our genetic deformation, but most people find it cute.”

  • 2 thetheorist Oct 14, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    This killed me for about an hour today, I couldn’t stop reading it and trying to figure out all the little ins and outs of it. And there are layers buried in there! Supreme court justices, taxes, patriotism! The lady and I got to laughing so hard we had to stop working for a bit.

  • 3 Tamra Oct 14, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    It killed more than an hour of you day and mine, but well worth it.

  • 4 Teentheorist Oct 14, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    WOW!!!! I never knew i was genetically deformed! AWESOME!!!! :D This dude is the stupidest son of a gun that i have ever seen!!

  • 5 Chris McKitterick Oct 14, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    Good lord, he’s a genius! I suspect the hard drives aren’t the problem….

  • 6 Don Roberts Oct 14, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    I’d tell him the hard drive works fine and that he probably just reversed polarity of the flux capacitor during re-entry of the atmosphere.

  • 7 Julie@americanhistoryfunfacts Oct 14, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    Wow! One of those days, huh? What a sad, angry person! I’ve never received one like that, but I have run into a few angry customers in my years of online selling. It seems that since you are “faceless” to them, they can take all of their frustration and anger out at you by typing on their keyboard. I hope they wouldn’t treat a person that way face to face, but I’m sure there are some that would.

    My advice: Sit back, take a breath, bite your tongue and then respond calmly. And then go have a drink and call it a night :)

  • 8 Joshua B. Oct 15, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    I’m offended by this city slicker’s remarks about farm hands and manure. ;)